Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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