Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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