i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize