He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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