Whod you bang
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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