I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize