he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
operation harelip BJ is a go
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so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
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driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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