No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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