I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
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My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
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Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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