The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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