can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just gift wrapped bread.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize