is your mom at the bar?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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