Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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