You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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