i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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