Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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