Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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