i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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