$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Randomize