This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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