dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
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Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
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I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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