Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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