You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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