I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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