i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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