I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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