I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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