you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize