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I'm jealous of your bromance
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
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