Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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