I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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