ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
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I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
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Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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