Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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