It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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