so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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