Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize