Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize