By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize