I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize