I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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