Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm like, not good at living.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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