I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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