I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
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Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
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Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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