break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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