he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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