we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize