So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize