If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
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I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
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I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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