the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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