porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize